found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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