some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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