K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
