Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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