Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
