I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She even gives head with a lisp.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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