Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
