Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
