remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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