I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
