he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
