my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
