bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
