It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
