I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
