Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
