carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
