Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I could fuck to npr.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
