i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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