i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
