that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
