the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
These tits shall not be calmed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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