Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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