I heard we made out
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
