We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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