My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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