stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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