I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
