captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
