Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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