Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
