Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
