I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His nipple licking is glorious
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