How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
