If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
