3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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