We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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