She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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