she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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