my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
