Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
