Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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