im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize