dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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