I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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