How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
