make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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