planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize