Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
