it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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