Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Who died my cat blue again?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
