I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
