Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
