this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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