wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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