Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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