You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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