He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
