I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
