how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
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I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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